Hello good evening and welcome. My name is Dalek Bell, a world famous fictional author, or fictional world famous author, or something along those lines. It will be my pleasure to explain to you how the world rotates around me, Dalek Bell, and how grateful you should be for the various goods and services I deign to offer you. For example, one of my companies makesweet.com is offering Klingon advice for the lovelorn, at least some of which does not involve ritual disembowelment. Please, no need to thank me.