Thinking of getting your honey something nice? Good idea! You'll want to avoid getting them any of the following:
- A box of milk chocolate if they like dark, or vice versa. If you don't know what kind of chocolate your sweetie likes, then you had better start paying attention. Chocolate is serious.
- Any kind of diet book. I shouldn't have to say this.
- A bonsai potato kit. Don't ask.
- A book you want to read. Even if they want to read it too, they will question your motives. As do I.
- A book you don't want to read. Why would you get anyone a book not even you like?
- Even worse: a subscription to a magazine you've never seen them read. You want them to get a weekly reminder in the mail of how poorly you understand them?
- A domain name. Domain names don't count as gifts, apparently. They are not real enough. Not even if they come with a nice card and a ribbon. Sigh.
- Road flares, reflective vests or a good pair of shoe insoles. Seriously.
We came across some confirmation of this list on Amazon's bad gift ideas for Valentine's day. Number one recommendation: a diet book. Then a smattering of other books and magazines with titles like "why you're so dumb and broke", "taxidermy today", and so on. There are a few items we hadn't thought of telling you to avoid, such as:
- Stainless Steel ANSI Flat Washer #1/4 Narrow .281" ID x .500" OD x .063" Thick (Pack of 100)
- Human Heart Model (4x actual size)
... but hopefully you could figure that much out yourselves.